


Llama

by walrucifer



Series: Tumblr Prompts [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel tries to talk to him, Crack, Dean is a llama, Gabriel thinks candy will help, He's the llama whisperer, M/M, That was not an innuendo at all, Wait it's Dean candy always helps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-21
Updated: 2014-10-21
Packaged: 2018-02-22 01:40:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2489756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/walrucifer/pseuds/walrucifer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is a llama. Gabriel tries to help with Twix.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Llama

**Author's Note:**

> "Dean as an animal"  
> \- boyking-chris

Dean wakes the whole Bunker by screaming at the top of his lungs.  
Of course, Castiel is first to rush into his room, panicked, wondering what went wrong, when he sees something that is most definitely _not_ Dean Winchester sitting in Dean Winchester’s bed, chewing said man’s bedspread, eyes wide in horror- and with wooly down covering its entire body.  
Castiel’s jaw drops. Spit and something that he thinks may be grass stain the blanket, and hooves jut out where feet should be. Dean’s a llama. Castiel is terrified.  
“Uh…. Good llama?” he tries. Dean spits at him. Horrified, Castiel darts away, looking for whoever is responsible for this and vowing to kill them a thousand times over.  
Sam sits in front of the TV, bored, and arm hooked around Lucifer’s shoulder, drunk. His head is slumped against the blonde’s chest, and a half-empty bottle of beer rests against his thigh. There’s something about meerkats and giraffes on, but neither of them is watching it.  
All of a sudden, Castiel comes running in, screaming, with something big and wooly and hooved running after him. It keeps spitting at his back, and Lucifer snickers when he notices that the Seraphim’s trenchcoat is stained green and grey by llama spit. When Castiel climbs onto the rafters and tries to support himself by the lamp cable, he bursts out laughing and spills the beer over Sam’s plaid Northface shirt. Sam is pissed, and rightly so. With a horrified look, Gabriel gasps, stalks over to them and screams at Lucifer, “THAT IS _NORTHFACE_!”  
Lucifer looks up at him and simpers. “Not sorry.” He sneers. Gabriel slaps him across the cheek and screams because his hand is scratched up by stubble.  
And suddenly all Hell breaks loose.  
Sam finally wakes up to find Lucifer in his lap, trying to escape the llama, which is trying to bite Castiel’s ass for reasons they all don’t want to know, Castiel (who is still dangling from the lamp) trying to push Lucifer to the llama, and Gabriel throwing Twix at the llama to placate it. Nothing helps.  
One Twix bar strikes the llama in between the eyes, and it changes course from Lucifer to Gabriel in an instant. With a shriek, he dives away, under the table, and claws at the ground, desperate not to be eaten or spit at.  
The llama still catches him, and tears a huge piece of his jeans out. Gabriel screams. “THEY CAN SEE MY UNDERWEAR NOW, YOU SICK FUCK! THANKS A LOT!”  
Adam raises an eyebrow, and sets down his coffee cup. “I didn’t realise you wore underwear, Gabriel.” He smirks sweetly, and Gabriel holds up his middlefinger. Adam turns to face Michael.  
“ _You’re_ not wearing underwear, _are_ you?” he asks, and Michael _blushes_ and pushes him towards their room.  
Meanwhile, Sam is busy fending off the llama.  
“IF I FIND OUT WHO TURNED MY BROTHER INTO A CAMEL I WILL KILL THEM!” he screams, and all of a sudden, everything goes sparkly, and then black.  
When the blackness ends, Dean is sitting on the rug, looking dazed, and Castiel is no longer hangin from the lamp, and Lucifer isn’t full of llama hoofprints or spit. Everything is as it was before (Except for Gabriel’s pants).  
“Dean!” Castiel exclaims, overjoyed, and rushes into his boyfriend’s arms. Dean hugs him and turns to Sam.  
“What happened?”  
“You were a llama.” Sam sighs, turns the TV off and goes to get himself a new beer.  
“No, you were a Vicuña . Turns out, you really need more biology lessons.” Lucifer smirks from in the kitchen, and hands Sam a new beer.  
“Might help in the future.”


End file.
